The Bottle Collectors

The Bottle Collectors

 

C’mon now, you know it. Admit it. Been there had a soda, bag of chips, even bought the T-Shirt. Survival is survival man. Show your true colors, those that show your want-determination.

It’s like a rite of passage here in Maine. Maybe so in other states but we Mainers are always on the lookout for some extra income so experts many have become.

By the time you are eight years of age you have become well versed in the art. The rules/procedures have been memorized, reflexes finely tuned, eyes of a hawk darting back and forth searching for prey, your brow knitted with determination. Time has come to put your training to use.

 

Keep in mind it’s a relatively short season, what season isn’t here in Maine but winter, so it’s imperative to get the system memorized as quickly as possible so you can be profitable to your family.

 

The career of The Bottle Collector is a short eight years maybe seven. Most don’t w3ant to be seen collecting after the age of sixteen but Collecting has evolved quite a bit and will continue to do so. Go into any home in Maine and you will see a garbage can for cans/bottles only, or a cardboard box, or a trash bag, some kind of container specifically for returnables and nothing else. Ours is a plastic bag on a hook in our kitchen. You know those plastic bags you get your groceries in…..And God forbid if anything else other than returnables enters that bag! I remember accidentally putting a non returnable in that bag. I’m still scared and that was 20 years ago!

I take off about 7-7:30 every night for a cup of coffee at a local Micky D’s, listen to the ballgame, just get out of the house , get some air. May look like a pervert in the parking lot but I really don’t care now. People have seen me there and I’m accepted. Even bring my own sugar now, that raw stuff or non bleached. Trying to get away from processed anything.

There has been this older guy, guessing mid sixties early seventies, emptying out trash barrels, rummaging thru dumpsters looking for bottles. So it has evolved or you can say maybe this gut just added a few lines to his resume.

 

I remember the first time I saw him. As a matter of fact I locked all my doors because he looked like a Neanderthal type looking for someone to pound on. Anyways he checked every garbage can and their three dumpsters and then stood at the exit to the drive thru and held up his bag of bottles to every car that went by. He then saw me in the lot and started walking over. He must have knew I wanted to be gone because he walked right behind my car so I couldn’t back up., another sign of returnable evolution and that Maine determination.

 

He knocked on my window and of course their was really no way out for me so I found a bottle rolling around on the floor. Now I keep a plastic bag in my car and put all the returnables in their. My window was down one day and he told me he doesn’t collect for himself, he collects to buy his cats food. He says if he doesn’t they will die. I don’t care the reason brother, we all need to survive. Getting worried about him though, haven’t seen him in a month. Maybe it’s all this rain we been getting. My kids came down today so I gave them up. They were starting to stink up my car. Generation to generation.

 

Bottle Collecting is without a doubt an art form. You watch ESPN or read the paper and you hear about the quickness of Kobe or speed of Lebron or the strength of Ortiz. The3se reporters don’t know what quickness is until they witness this yearly event.

 

Bottle Collecting can be accomplished with a minimum of two people but three is expected whereas four is optimum. I have seen it done with two but believe you me it’s not pretty.

 

A map of the surrounding towns is crucial. You need a great knowledge of all back roads everywhere if you plan on making a few dollars. An experienced collector may know the area well however what if divorce or cheating or whatever takes him/her away from the family. So it is imperative to keep a current map in your glove box at all times.

 

In a perfect world the ‘posse’ would appear this way. Four people, two of which are the parents or those in charge (this is Maine remember where everyone doesn’t have parents).

 

The front seat, a bench, is manned by the oldest two with the two youngest in back on each side of the car with the doors unlocked. Speed is the determining factor so its not important whether it be girl-girl, boy-girl, or boy-boy.

The driver usually stays at a constant speed of say five maybe 10 miles an hour although I have seen the more experienced reach speeds of 20 MPH. He/she must ensure the washer fluid tank is full before taking off.  Reason being the back roads are usually are usually not paved and this occurs in the spring and summer so the windshield can get pretty greasy thus reducing the all important visibility.

 

Collecting usually occurs on a Sunday morning between 8am and 11am. Some do a Saturday or better yet both. I personally prefer Sunday because my observations tell me more people go out on Saturdays. People got that weekend feeling thus they drink more thus more bucks.

 

All windows are usually left down in the car for better communication and that all important and crucial view.  If your head is out the window sighting a bottle it is important for the gatherer to understand him completely. If all the windows are open there is no issue, plus usually the windows in an older Maine Sedan after a Friday night, not to mention the eyes, are not the clearest.

 

The two in the front may have a bottle of Pepsi apiece and something to munch on, Doritos. Or can of Pringles left over from last night. They deserve these luxuries. They too at one time were in the back. Also the ashtray may have a couple of roaches of the mood strikes (and it probably will).

 

“Left!” screams the driver and like a the back left child was sitting in a minefield the seat empties and makes a beeline to the ditch to retrieve that elusive bounty  that he has been training for. Quickly he snatches the bounty and does a quick head turn in case the driver neglected to call one out.

Bounding back to the still moving vehicle, he deftly raises the trunk lid which was partially and purposely left open. In a blur of constant movement the bounty is tossed in the trunk, the back door is swung open and he plants his butt in the vacant seat, ready to strike again.

 

That my friends is the art of Bottle Collecting and yes it is an art. If both youngsters I n the back seat are busy and the passenger jumps from time to time and 6-7 towns are canvassed you can clear $40 a week.

 

Many variables come into play here, perhaps bringing more profit if done correctly. The number of towns canvassed, the other collectors existence, the length of the roads, Saturday Sunday or both. Hell I’ve seen so many bottles that sometimes the car slows down to5 MPH and the kids rarely see the back if at all.

 

You don’t see a lot of this anymore maybe too proud. Don’t know. Guess that’s an indication of evolution. Perhaps, with our economy, it needs to make resurgence

  

Don’t put me on hold

Spring has got to be my favorite time of the year, but leaning some towards Fall as well. One of my fondest memories of spring was when I was in the USAF.  We all (about 25 of us) got together during time at Davis-Mothan AFB in Tuscan Az. We took off and went to a minor league game. Tucson Toro’s against someone-can’t remember- Gary Sheffield  for the other team. Standing there at 9 o’clock at night on the players runway, beer in one hand cigar in the other, 73 degrees-THIS MUST BE HEAVEN MAN!

 

Beer was in these plastic giveaway cups and this girl who was with us decided to collect and save all the cups, hers and everyone else’s. Jesus-she must have had like 80 of ‘em. Of course some thought it was cute so we drank more.

 

Remember the bump signs Johnny? Spring of 1882 or thereabouts. Best friend was who we called Johnny Rotten. He wasn’t really rotten it’s just that Neil young’s tune (“…..this is the story of Johnny Rotten”….not the title but a righteous tune) was pretty popular.

 

So me and my GF (wife to be) got in one car, and he and his GF (wife to be and still is) my Dad was Justice of the Peace so he married them free of charge…..anyways…..they  got in another and we started at opposite sides of the town. Richmond is not to big so we were like five miles apart.

 

In Maine and I assume other Eastern States, during springtime the State puts up these signs that are in fluorescent orange about 500 feet from spots where  frost heaves cause huge bumps and holes, You  got to pay attention to these or you could bottom out very easily.

 

So we both started at the same time and were racing to see who could get the most ‘Bump signs.’ Lori and I won, 17-13. No prize we just wanted to do it.

Ride around and get stoned. Priceless.

 

So we met up at Mickey D’s when we got done and figured we would all get an ice cream. We all jumped in my car (actually my Dads) and flew down the road, never been so stoned!

 

The place we were going to is now a gas station and a motor mall(where they sell cars) but back then it was an ice cream place with batting cages out back and a huge dirt area you travel on first before you get to the store.

 

We all get our ice creams (they were all cones) and jumped back in the car. I got behind the wheel and started to pick up speed before we got on the main road. Well, we were going about 30 MPH when Elena’s door opens (Johns GF) and she rolls out of the car! I could have sworn she was dead-no-one could talk, but as I was slammed on the breaks Elena kept rolling and she rolled right back into the car ice cream and all! Priceless. Away we went.

More snow than we have seen in years here. I can remember when a nor’easter meant you were going to get belted with a foot plus of snow, not this pansy 4 -5”. Snow banks on the side of roads 10” or higher with holes in each side where kids have started to tunnel.

I was talking to a buddy the other day who does remodeling all year long but it cuts down lots come winter so he plows driveways. He made over $12,000 from November to March.

 

These are some of the people I grew up with, some of the best memories. Can anyone ever really their fondest moments? Can we ever get back to where we were? Where we want to be?

 

I have heard it said many times  you are born to die, Its sometimes sad to think that every day I live is a day closer to death.  “…better to burn out than fade away.”(Neil Young)

 

Went to college from 1983-1987, going for a B.A. in Social Sciences. The college didn’t have the degree at the time but they had a lot of satellites so they told me to take certain classes and when it was time graduate they would export the degree.

They couldn’t and I earned 124 credits. I was NOT happy. I needed a job, had a wife then and a kid and another on the way. So I packed my bags, flipped ‘em off and enlisted in the USAF.

 

So here I am. No degree, disabled, no job, getting older (44), living with my parents. What a life.

Who was going to reverse where I was? Who was going to set me back on the path? Can someone who is disabled now get back to where they were?

 

Many say there is no way. I see disability everyday sometimes all day. My dad has this and is in a wheelchair. My brother has this and a head injury to boot. My sister has this. And then there is me.

I can go to doctor after doctor, have MRI’s, loads of blood work, medications. But ask yourself this as I did, what in reality will it do?

No doctor ever told me to work out, but yet I do 3-4 times a week. Every day someone pats me on the back and tells me what an inspiration I am. I take a look around the Gym between sets and I see people looking at me, watching me, observing. If these people looked at me like that five years ago I would have not been very nice at all-probably would have been arrested for battery. Now I just don’t care. Looking at me for motivation, for form, inspiration makes me work so much harder. I love being a role model.

I’m like the mailman. Snow, sleet, or rain I will be there for the last 2 years and lots more coming. You see teens or young adults that skip there workouts because their muscles hurt, or its snowing, or its too nice out to be inside. I will be there, no matter what.

 

I have kind of pushed my workouts to the back burner slightly, but going to pick them up real soon with much more vigor. I have a new GF in Old Town (Yes me!!!), and I went back to college this summer so I got real busy.

Summer semesters are real busy. Two semesters in the summer about 7 weeks per. So they really need to get the information out. I took one class. Cultural Anthropology and received one of the highest grades I have received for a course, B+. Pretty good I ( say for a guy who has been out of school for 26 years. I have five more classes to go to get my B.A. in Liberal Studies with a minor in Behavioral Studies. Planning to take two courses in the Fall. Two in the Spring and the final one in the Summer of 2010 meaning I ‘m going to walk to Pomp and Circumstance again in June of 2011. You’re invited!

 

So let’s see. My body is much stronger than it ever was. Yea it hurts but pain lets you know you’re alive. No one told me to t6ake vitamins, but I do. No doctor told me to drink Protein shakes, but I do. It would be so easy to sit back, collect disability and watch the wheels go round and round, but that’s not me!

 

Going to College to get a State job (admin somewhere-working with Voc Rehab). Imagine it will be about 20 hours a week but at least it gets me feeling productive and out of the house.

Still going to work out and probably with more vigor than I did before.

Couple of concerts this y6ear out of state looking forward to. A wedding out of state, and of course sweet Roxy!!

 

Am I getting back to where I was, back on the road I chose? Of course age and the disability have thrown up huge walls but mind of matter will propel me over.