The Bottle Collectors

The Bottle Collectors

 

C’mon now, you know it. Admit it. Been there had a soda, bag of chips, even bought the T-Shirt. Survival is survival man. Show your true colors, those that show your want-determination.

It’s like a rite of passage here in Maine. Maybe so in other states but we Mainers are always on the lookout for some extra income so experts many have become.

By the time you are eight years of age you have become well versed in the art. The rules/procedures have been memorized, reflexes finely tuned, eyes of a hawk darting back and forth searching for prey, your brow knitted with determination. Time has come to put your training to use.

 

Keep in mind it’s a relatively short season, what season isn’t here in Maine but winter, so it’s imperative to get the system memorized as quickly as possible so you can be profitable to your family.

 

The career of The Bottle Collector is a short eight years maybe seven. Most don’t w3ant to be seen collecting after the age of sixteen but Collecting has evolved quite a bit and will continue to do so. Go into any home in Maine and you will see a garbage can for cans/bottles only, or a cardboard box, or a trash bag, some kind of container specifically for returnables and nothing else. Ours is a plastic bag on a hook in our kitchen. You know those plastic bags you get your groceries in…..And God forbid if anything else other than returnables enters that bag! I remember accidentally putting a non returnable in that bag. I’m still scared and that was 20 years ago!

I take off about 7-7:30 every night for a cup of coffee at a local Micky D’s, listen to the ballgame, just get out of the house , get some air. May look like a pervert in the parking lot but I really don’t care now. People have seen me there and I’m accepted. Even bring my own sugar now, that raw stuff or non bleached. Trying to get away from processed anything.

There has been this older guy, guessing mid sixties early seventies, emptying out trash barrels, rummaging thru dumpsters looking for bottles. So it has evolved or you can say maybe this gut just added a few lines to his resume.

 

I remember the first time I saw him. As a matter of fact I locked all my doors because he looked like a Neanderthal type looking for someone to pound on. Anyways he checked every garbage can and their three dumpsters and then stood at the exit to the drive thru and held up his bag of bottles to every car that went by. He then saw me in the lot and started walking over. He must have knew I wanted to be gone because he walked right behind my car so I couldn’t back up., another sign of returnable evolution and that Maine determination.

 

He knocked on my window and of course their was really no way out for me so I found a bottle rolling around on the floor. Now I keep a plastic bag in my car and put all the returnables in their. My window was down one day and he told me he doesn’t collect for himself, he collects to buy his cats food. He says if he doesn’t they will die. I don’t care the reason brother, we all need to survive. Getting worried about him though, haven’t seen him in a month. Maybe it’s all this rain we been getting. My kids came down today so I gave them up. They were starting to stink up my car. Generation to generation.

 

Bottle Collecting is without a doubt an art form. You watch ESPN or read the paper and you hear about the quickness of Kobe or speed of Lebron or the strength of Ortiz. The3se reporters don’t know what quickness is until they witness this yearly event.

 

Bottle Collecting can be accomplished with a minimum of two people but three is expected whereas four is optimum. I have seen it done with two but believe you me it’s not pretty.

 

A map of the surrounding towns is crucial. You need a great knowledge of all back roads everywhere if you plan on making a few dollars. An experienced collector may know the area well however what if divorce or cheating or whatever takes him/her away from the family. So it is imperative to keep a current map in your glove box at all times.

 

In a perfect world the ‘posse’ would appear this way. Four people, two of which are the parents or those in charge (this is Maine remember where everyone doesn’t have parents).

 

The front seat, a bench, is manned by the oldest two with the two youngest in back on each side of the car with the doors unlocked. Speed is the determining factor so its not important whether it be girl-girl, boy-girl, or boy-boy.

The driver usually stays at a constant speed of say five maybe 10 miles an hour although I have seen the more experienced reach speeds of 20 MPH. He/she must ensure the washer fluid tank is full before taking off.  Reason being the back roads are usually are usually not paved and this occurs in the spring and summer so the windshield can get pretty greasy thus reducing the all important visibility.

 

Collecting usually occurs on a Sunday morning between 8am and 11am. Some do a Saturday or better yet both. I personally prefer Sunday because my observations tell me more people go out on Saturdays. People got that weekend feeling thus they drink more thus more bucks.

 

All windows are usually left down in the car for better communication and that all important and crucial view.  If your head is out the window sighting a bottle it is important for the gatherer to understand him completely. If all the windows are open there is no issue, plus usually the windows in an older Maine Sedan after a Friday night, not to mention the eyes, are not the clearest.

 

The two in the front may have a bottle of Pepsi apiece and something to munch on, Doritos. Or can of Pringles left over from last night. They deserve these luxuries. They too at one time were in the back. Also the ashtray may have a couple of roaches of the mood strikes (and it probably will).

 

“Left!” screams the driver and like a the back left child was sitting in a minefield the seat empties and makes a beeline to the ditch to retrieve that elusive bounty  that he has been training for. Quickly he snatches the bounty and does a quick head turn in case the driver neglected to call one out.

Bounding back to the still moving vehicle, he deftly raises the trunk lid which was partially and purposely left open. In a blur of constant movement the bounty is tossed in the trunk, the back door is swung open and he plants his butt in the vacant seat, ready to strike again.

 

That my friends is the art of Bottle Collecting and yes it is an art. If both youngsters I n the back seat are busy and the passenger jumps from time to time and 6-7 towns are canvassed you can clear $40 a week.

 

Many variables come into play here, perhaps bringing more profit if done correctly. The number of towns canvassed, the other collectors existence, the length of the roads, Saturday Sunday or both. Hell I’ve seen so many bottles that sometimes the car slows down to5 MPH and the kids rarely see the back if at all.

 

You don’t see a lot of this anymore maybe too proud. Don’t know. Guess that’s an indication of evolution. Perhaps, with our economy, it needs to make resurgence